HOW FAR ALONG AM I?

If you think you are pregnant, the first thing to do is to find out if you really are.

To confirm pregnancy status, you can do:

• A urine-based test (available at a pharmacy or – more reliably – by taking your urine to a testing centre);
• Or a blood draw (again, at a testing centre).

Both are based on looking for the pregnancy hormone called beta hCG.

If you think you are pregnant, or you are sure because of the test result, the next thing to do is to find out how far along in your pregnancy you are. 

By international convention, the first day of your last menstruation is considered the first day of pregnancy. Below, you can enter some data about your menstrual cycle and calculate your gestational age. Voluntary abortion, regulated by Law 194/78, is possible until day 90, which is week 12 plus 6 days. After this date it is possible to go abroad, to one of the countries that have a different time limit from that imposed by Italian law. You can find the directions in the section ABORTION WITHIN 90 DAYS – IVG AFTER 12 WEEKS ABROAD.

In Italy, you have three options in front of you:

1) Continue the pregnancy and become a parent
2) Continue the pregnancy and give the child up for adoption or foster care
3) Terminate the pregnancy through an abortion, if you are within the legal terms to do so.

It is difficult to make a decision, and you may have mixed feelings about pregnancy, especially when it happens unexpectedly. Whatever your feelings are, your reactions may be different. To help you think at this time, it might be useful to ask yourself some questions like the following ones.

Only you can make a decision, because the consequences will be mainly on you. Try asking yourself:

What are my hopes and plans for the future?

How would I feel about the realization of such plans and hopes if …
…I became a parent?
…I gave the child up for adoption?
…I terminated the pregnancy?

What are the two or three things that matter most to me in my life?
Would I have to lose or give up something if …
…I became a parent?
…I gave the child up for adoption?
… I terminated the pregnancy?

What are the two or three things I hope to accomplish in the next five to ten years?
What can I lose, or what can I give up in the next five to ten years, if I…
…Became a parent?
… I gave the child up for adoption?
… I terminated the pregnancy?

How do I think other people who matter to me (partners, family members, friendships) might react toward me if
…I became a parent?
…I gave the child up for adoption?
…I terminated the pregnancy?

Considering my values and beliefs, how would I feel if
…I became a parent?
…I gave the child up for adoption?
…I terminated the pregnancy?

We hope these questions can help you, but it is more than legitimate to still have mixed feelings. Making a decision can be difficult and scary. You might try finishing the following sentences and see how you feel.

The idea of becoming a parent makes me feel…
(because…)
The idea of giving the child up for adoption makes me feel…
(because…)
The idea of having an abortion makes me feel…
(because…)

What if I still don’t know?
Continuing to have mixed feelings about every possible choice is normal. You may find that whatever choice you make, you still do not perceive it as the perfect decision.

Ask yourself, “Can I live with these feelings?” If the answer is “yes,” then you are ready to decide.

If you are still uncertain, you may need to

• gather more information, from the medical point of view, or about the financial support that you could get from the Government;
• talk to a pro-choice psychologist;
• talk to someone you trust, who will not be able to decide for you, but might help you decide what is best for you. This person could be a parent, another family member, your partner, or someone you feel close to.

Our advice, as a pro-choice medical association that puts your mental and physical health first, is:

• Gather medical information only from pro-choice healthcare professionals who listen to you with a secular approach;
• The same goes for practical information or counselling with a psychologist. We advise you not to rely on professionals or websites with an anti-abortion ideological stance, as the information could be false, biased, or intended to manipulate you, making it useless.
• The final choice is yours alone, not your family or partner’s. In fact, some people prefer not to talk to their loved ones until they’ve made a personal decision, for fear of being influenced.
• Unfortunately, you don’t have much time. If you decide to continue with the pregnancy, it’s important to start seeing a midwife and a gynaecologist right away to safeguard your health and that of your potential new life. Likewise, if you decide to have an abortion, you must take action to stay within the legal timeframe for doing so.